Saturday, November 21, 2009

Sex, Multiple Religion, and Hell Freezing Over

Found this piece of article a few days ago, said to be a forward email, on Malaysia Finance Blogspot (original post, see here).

The following was an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


Moral of the stories;

1. never say never in sex
2. please do not say hell will have a cold day before you jump onto a bed with a certain person, since you most certainly will.
3. we can all sin since hell had already frozen since the day the student bedded Teresa.
4. God certainly existed, and we can reach Him by sex, but necessarily needs orgasm of course.
5. forget about writing serious stuffs for assignments. just make a hell load of humour and you will get A+. hey, even lecturers are human and they needed a break from all the mundane stuffs.

A little note on Malaysia Finance Blogspot;

This is a fantastic and highly relevant blog if you happens to invest in Malaysian stock market. Articles written in informative and humorous way, you will rarely fell asleep, like you might do if reading those economist. And if you do feel like sleeping, he had loads of pretty girls pictures accompanying his articles, so do give him a visit!


  1. I don't have time to wait for hell's temp to drop. I have to go to the mall now.

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