Facebook Saves Our Blushes

Things got so much easier with facebook. Not only can we network and play games, we can also make announcement to the whole world.

For example, the "relationship" status.

And it saves our blushes, a lot, by helping us promoting our "status".

Now, imagine this, your friend James just got hooked up with Betty last week, and facebook did not exist to tell you "James is in a relationship with Betty".

And you are in a bar with James, drinking.

You: You know Betty? She looks like a train wreck with lopsided boobies.

James: Yea, i do. We just got together, approximately a week ago. And her boobies are perfectly well formed.

You: ...

It helps much more when you broke up. With the simple status of "James is single", everyone will know better than to rub it in. They won't go like this;

You: Hey James, where is Betty? I thought you guys were inseparable?

James: Oh, i thought so too. Until she found out last week that she likes girl better.

You: ...

There are, of course, some people who never use facebook. Like you lovely grandma Mary.

Mary: Dearie, where is the sweet young thing that you brought here last time?

James: You mean Betty, Grammy?

Mary: Yes, that sweet girl.

James: Grammy, she decided that she likes girl more.

Mary: I don't understand...

James: She is now a lesbian.

Mary: Oh dear........

Ask Professor Sex-o-Blow Ep. 1

Hi, I am Prof. Sex-o-Blow aka SoB. Dark Snow invited me to write a column answering your questions here, and i agreed because he is my pal. That's all. Full stop.

Funnily, i have got questions coming in before this column is even launched. Fuck it, bring it on.

Questions are modified for brevity. I hate people who talk too long.

Dear Prof SoB,

I am a rich man, and i am getting married soon! I am so happy and blessed to have this wonderful lady as my wife for life. Words can't describe how blissful i felt. [SoB: cut the fucking crap, asshole]. My friends advised me to get a pre-nup. Is it enforcible? I heard something about public policy. Should i get one? Will my wife feels slighted? Do i really need one?

Bridegroom-to-be

What you really need is to get you pea-brain checked. Or maybe check if your balls are still there hanging between your legs. Blissful? OMFG you are a man for fuck sake. You should be be raising the flag at half mast instead! Think of all the chicks that you will miss out. And your life being controlled by pussy who will most likely deny you entry until she gets what she wants. You are a disgrace to mankind. Period. Pre-nup? What pre-nup?

Dear SoB,

My boyfriend always like to twist and pull my nipples and slap my tits during sex. I will end up with sore nipples and swollen tits for a day or two. I can understand he can't get his hand off my 36DD, but it is really painful. How do i make him stop?

Blondie

Why not you make up some reasons, and tie him up, and give him some of his own medicine? Or even better, twist his balls and slap them hard as well while you are at it. Yawn...ok next!

Dear SoB,

You son of a bitch, after i did that to him, the next time we have sex he told me he has a pleasant surprise for me and i allowed him to tie me up. He then used two pliers to squeeze, pull and twist my nipples. If last time he just turn two rounds with his fingers, now with the pliers he turned 5 rounds!! In addition to slapping my tits, he also whipped them with wooden ruler. An the slaps, oh m god, they were furious! They were swollen by 2 cups size and i can't touch them or wear anything for one week. Now my nipples are permanently elongated by one inch (totaling two inches, on non-erect stage), and my tits grew one cup bigger. He said it was revenge for what i did to him. The problem is, the pliers are now permanently placed on the side table.

Blondie

How stupid. You actually fall for the trick you yourself used to him?

If you have any questions for Dr. SoB, you may leave your comments here, or send them to darksnow213@gmail.com

Notes: This is a just for fun gag. Please do not take the "advise" seriously. Do help me to humour you by sending in some questions!!

Peerless

Peerless is really a wrong word to use here. Hehe.

I realized that most of my peers, sex bloggers who started around the same time as me, stopped writing.

I can't help but to think, is it because there is really not much to write about in sex?

Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe in the next one year or so, none of my peers will update their blog.

But there is one thing that i can be sure - there will be a new batch of sex bloggers supplanting us, replacing our writing, to contribute to this ever opening of sexuality.

I Need a Blowjob!!!

Hello peeps. FYI, i am still alive, and kicking, but not really satisfied with my sex life.

Well, i think an enthusiastic blowjob will really do the job.

My girl, most of the time just lie down and expecting me to do all the pleasuring. She seems to think that i will have enough pleasure by pumping her pussy.

But for god fucking sake, that is never enough. A girl must take an active part on the bed.

Well, but for now, i really can't ask for much. And when you reach this stage, it really suck.

And i really need a good blowjob badly. However, my girl doesn't seem to like to give one, and when she does, well, you can feel that she doesn't really want to do it.

Which reminds me of my ex awesome blowjob skill. Shit, now i sounds like jerk, but when you are not getting even barely enough, you tend to look somewhere nostalgically. Which in my case, my ex awesome blowjob.

A blowjob that is tenderly and loving done. Ahh...how i miss the warmth in her mouth.

Enough of that i guess. Girls, please remember to pleasure your man. An enthusiastic blowjob will ensure him coming back to you for more.