Funnily, i have got questions coming in before this column is even launched. Fuck it, bring it on.
Questions are modified for brevity. I hate people who talk too long.
Dear Prof SoB,
I am a rich man, and i am getting married soon! I am so happy and blessed to have this wonderful lady as my wife for life. Words can't describe how blissful i felt. [SoB: cut the fucking crap, asshole]. My friends advised me to get a pre-nup. Is it enforcible? I heard something about public policy. Should i get one? Will my wife feels slighted? Do i really need one?
What you really need is to get you pea-brain checked. Or maybe check if your balls are still there hanging between your legs. Blissful? OMFG you are a man for fuck sake. You should be be raising the flag at half mast instead! Think of all the chicks that you will miss out. And your life being controlled by pussy who will most likely deny you entry until she gets what she wants. You are a disgrace to mankind. Period. Pre-nup? What pre-nup?
My boyfriend always like to twist and pull my nipples and slap my tits during sex. I will end up with sore nipples and swollen tits for a day or two. I can understand he can't get his hand off my 36DD, but it is really painful. How do i make him stop?
Why not you make up some reasons, and tie him up, and give him some of his own medicine? Or even better, twist his balls and slap them hard as well while you are at it. Yawn...ok next!
You son of a bitch, after i did that to him, the next time we have sex he told me he has a pleasant surprise for me and i allowed him to tie me up. He then used two pliers to squeeze, pull and twist my nipples. If last time he just turn two rounds with his fingers, now with the pliers he turned 5 rounds!! In addition to slapping my tits, he also whipped them with wooden ruler. An the slaps, oh m god, they were furious! They were swollen by 2 cups size and i can't touch them or wear anything for one week. Now my nipples are permanently elongated by one inch (totaling two inches, on non-erect stage), and my tits grew one cup bigger. He said it was revenge for what i did to him. The problem is, the pliers are now permanently placed on the side table.
How stupid. You actually fall for the trick you yourself used to him?
If you have any questions for Dr. SoB, you may leave your comments here, or send them to firstname.lastname@example.org
Notes: This is a just for fun gag. Please do not take the "advise" seriously. Do help me to humour you by sending in some questions!!