When Porn was an Art: Tentacle Sex

Ladies and Gentlemen, let's look at this picture below;

Everyone would know that this is from the Japanese hentai manga or anime.

Which means cartoon or comic porn.

The Japanese seems fixated with having octopus raping women. They usually starts violently, and ends with the women enjoying the rape (either through drugs or pure lust) and having endless orgasm.

Now before you pelt me with rotten eggs, please bear in mind that this is porn, where imagination runs wild and logic thrown out of the window.

And there is also a theory that women secretly love to be rape, but that is not for today, we shall deal with that in other articles.

The funny thing about this tentacle sex thingy that the Japanese have is that, this is not a modern phenomena.

Now look at this picture;

This painting is called 蛸と海女 (tako ko ama) or in English "The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife" or literally translated as "Octopus and Sea Female" or "Octopus and Diver" (thanks to Google Translate). This fine baby was first published in 1814 credited to Japanese artist Hokusai.

This fine baby has a giant octopus sucking on the lady's pussy, when a smaller octopus kissing the lady and fondling her breast. You will note that the Japanese culture of not shaving their pussy was unchanged from then till now, even with the onslaught of American culture.

Now, Japanese are, by far, one of the the most creative people i have ever seen. You can now wear this beautiful artwork around your dick and ass.

I saw this jeans at http://item.rakuten.co.jp/gintengai/lp-226s/ where you can order it. I have never come across rakuten before, so i don't know if it is reliable.

Oh, did i tell you guys i just love Japanese?

Throwing Oranges to Find a Lover

Today is the 14th day of the Lunar New Year.

15th is considered the Lunar Valentine's, where some ceremonies will take place.

This include throwing mandarin oranges into the sea.

Mandarin Orange (Tangerine)">

As crazy as it may sound, the girls will write their contacts on the oranges and throw them into the sea. The guys will, of course, go pick them up randomly.

As with all theories of probabilities, the more you throw or collect, the higher the chance you might chance into THE ONE.

Oh yea, obviously this valentine's is for those who are in the market hunting for someone.

Or maybe, it is just a lousy excuse to throw excess and unfinished mandarin oranges without the fear of being labelled as litter bugs.

But whatever it is, this should be a good hunting ground for male and female alike.

Well, looking at the picture above, maybe it's better not to actually pick up any mandarin oranges.

There are other better hunting grounds.

Wallowing in Self Pity after a Break Up

Been away for a while, due to a horrible break up.

Break up has always been a painful thing to go through, whether you are a guy or a girl, whether you are the one who initiated the break up, or the one on the receiving end.

It puts everything on hold, and for that brief moment, as though the world is secondary to you wallowing in your self pity.

If there is a third party involved, it felt even worse, but that may be a blessing in disguise.

Because you would know very well there is no way you can get back together.

Because you would know very well there is no need to wait.

Because you would know very well there is absolutely nothing you can do but to let go.

Because that would certainly shove you out of the room you shared, and now there will be someone else who will be fucking him/her on the bed you paid for.

And this is a very big fuck up.

So fuck you, i hereby declare that i am now in the market again.

Facebook Saves Our Blushes

Things got so much easier with facebook. Not only can we network and play games, we can also make announcement to the whole world.

For example, the "relationship" status.

And it saves our blushes, a lot, by helping us promoting our "status".

Now, imagine this, your friend James just got hooked up with Betty last week, and facebook did not exist to tell you "James is in a relationship with Betty".

And you are in a bar with James, drinking.

You: You know Betty? She looks like a train wreck with lopsided boobies.

James: Yea, i do. We just got together, approximately a week ago. And her boobies are perfectly well formed.

You: ...

It helps much more when you broke up. With the simple status of "James is single", everyone will know better than to rub it in. They won't go like this;

You: Hey James, where is Betty? I thought you guys were inseparable?

James: Oh, i thought so too. Until she found out last week that she likes girl better.

You: ...

There are, of course, some people who never use facebook. Like you lovely grandma Mary.

Mary: Dearie, where is the sweet young thing that you brought here last time?

James: You mean Betty, Grammy?

Mary: Yes, that sweet girl.

James: Grammy, she decided that she likes girl more.

Mary: I don't understand...

James: She is now a lesbian.

Mary: Oh dear........

Ask Professor Sex-o-Blow Ep. 1

Hi, I am Prof. Sex-o-Blow aka SoB. Dark Snow invited me to write a column answering your questions here, and i agreed because he is my pal. That's all. Full stop.

Funnily, i have got questions coming in before this column is even launched. Fuck it, bring it on.

Questions are modified for brevity. I hate people who talk too long.

Dear Prof SoB,

I am a rich man, and i am getting married soon! I am so happy and blessed to have this wonderful lady as my wife for life. Words can't describe how blissful i felt. [SoB: cut the fucking crap, asshole]. My friends advised me to get a pre-nup. Is it enforcible? I heard something about public policy. Should i get one? Will my wife feels slighted? Do i really need one?

Bridegroom-to-be

What you really need is to get you pea-brain checked. Or maybe check if your balls are still there hanging between your legs. Blissful? OMFG you are a man for fuck sake. You should be be raising the flag at half mast instead! Think of all the chicks that you will miss out. And your life being controlled by pussy who will most likely deny you entry until she gets what she wants. You are a disgrace to mankind. Period. Pre-nup? What pre-nup?

Dear SoB,

My boyfriend always like to twist and pull my nipples and slap my tits during sex. I will end up with sore nipples and swollen tits for a day or two. I can understand he can't get his hand off my 36DD, but it is really painful. How do i make him stop?

Blondie

Why not you make up some reasons, and tie him up, and give him some of his own medicine? Or even better, twist his balls and slap them hard as well while you are at it. Yawn...ok next!

Dear SoB,

You son of a bitch, after i did that to him, the next time we have sex he told me he has a pleasant surprise for me and i allowed him to tie me up. He then used two pliers to squeeze, pull and twist my nipples. If last time he just turn two rounds with his fingers, now with the pliers he turned 5 rounds!! In addition to slapping my tits, he also whipped them with wooden ruler. An the slaps, oh m god, they were furious! They were swollen by 2 cups size and i can't touch them or wear anything for one week. Now my nipples are permanently elongated by one inch (totaling two inches, on non-erect stage), and my tits grew one cup bigger. He said it was revenge for what i did to him. The problem is, the pliers are now permanently placed on the side table.

Blondie

How stupid. You actually fall for the trick you yourself used to him?

If you have any questions for Dr. SoB, you may leave your comments here, or send them to darksnow213@gmail.com

Notes: This is a just for fun gag. Please do not take the "advise" seriously. Do help me to humour you by sending in some questions!!

Peerless

Peerless is really a wrong word to use here. Hehe.

I realized that most of my peers, sex bloggers who started around the same time as me, stopped writing.

I can't help but to think, is it because there is really not much to write about in sex?

Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe in the next one year or so, none of my peers will update their blog.

But there is one thing that i can be sure - there will be a new batch of sex bloggers supplanting us, replacing our writing, to contribute to this ever opening of sexuality.

I Need a Blowjob!!!

Hello peeps. FYI, i am still alive, and kicking, but not really satisfied with my sex life.

Well, i think an enthusiastic blowjob will really do the job.

My girl, most of the time just lie down and expecting me to do all the pleasuring. She seems to think that i will have enough pleasure by pumping her pussy.

But for god fucking sake, that is never enough. A girl must take an active part on the bed.

Well, but for now, i really can't ask for much. And when you reach this stage, it really suck.

And i really need a good blowjob badly. However, my girl doesn't seem to like to give one, and when she does, well, you can feel that she doesn't really want to do it.

Which reminds me of my ex awesome blowjob skill. Shit, now i sounds like jerk, but when you are not getting even barely enough, you tend to look somewhere nostalgically. Which in my case, my ex awesome blowjob.

A blowjob that is tenderly and loving done. Ahh...how i miss the warmth in her mouth.

Enough of that i guess. Girls, please remember to pleasure your man. An enthusiastic blowjob will ensure him coming back to you for more.